unending grace

I got on here with a totally different thought in mind to write about. But then I read over my last post, looking at my dreary raining background, and realized I needed to update. Just 2 days after I last posted I had the opportunity to go to a concert at my brother's church, by myself. So I spent over an hour in the car alone, and I just cried out to God the whole way! I asked what He wanted from me, why he wouldn't give us another baby, if i was supposed to move on, how could He let me not be pregnant this month, and just what was I supposed to do now. The concert was good and I had a nice time. Then out in the parking lot afterwards I cried to my wonderful sister-in-law and just felt so broken. I cried the whole hour plus home. And then the next day came the peace. I don't have any answers to any  of the questions I asked God. But He gave me peace. I cried on the day that we would have probably had the c-section for our baby, and that was it. He has given me peace through this storm that I never thought I could make it out of. Just days and weeks before there was no calm in sight, no land, no dove. But then it came. How amazing is our God! Even though I still don't know what I am supposed to do, the pain of my loss has now become manageable. I never thought I would be able to enjoy Thanksgiving ever again, let alone this year. But I had a great day. I thought about our baby and wished that he or she was there, but did not dwell on it. Praise God for His mercy and His grace!!!